


Hold Me

by tnh1722



Series: Human AU Lightwood-Bane Family [7]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alec is a good boyfriend/husband, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Magnus Bane Needs A Hug, Protective Alec Lightwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-08-31
Packaged: 2019-07-03 11:47:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15818256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tnh1722/pseuds/tnh1722
Summary: 5 times Magnus needs a hug and 1 time Magnus needs to give one





	1. The Voicemail

“Alexander, calm down. Everything is going to be fine,” Magnus said as he squeezed his boyfriend’s hand. They were sitting in the car outside of the Lightwood & Herondale office giving Alec time to get the courage to go inside. Tonight was the Christmas party which starts with a social hour at the office before heading to a restaurant for dinner, typically followed by the younger staff heading to a bar or club.

Tonight would also be the night Alec introduces Magnus to anyone besides his siblings. Izzy, of course, already knew Magnus from work as well as Clary. Jace, Max, and Simon met Magnus at a siblings brunch that Izzy organized a few weeks ago. Since they had officially been dating for two months, Alec decided that it was time for Magnus to meet everyone else, especially his mother and best friend. 

“Darling, if you aren’t ready to do this, I understand. I am more than fine with dropping you off and picking you up at the end of the night,” Magnus offered, still holding Alec’s hand tightly. 

“No! I...no, I’m sorry, I’m being ridiculous. I want you here, I am proud to be with you. I’m just nervous,” Alec replied quickly, turning in his seat towards Magnus. He had the same worried expression on his face, but it had obviously shifted from worry about the party to worry about Magnus. 

Magnus gave him a loving smile and leaned over the center console to give Alec a reassuring kiss. He let his lips linger in hopes to comfort his boyfriend. “It’s okay to be nervous, but I promise, no matter what anyone says. I’m not going anywhere.”

Alec smiled into the kiss and let their foreheads rest together. “Thank you.”

“No, thank you, for bringing me here and wanting me to meet your family. I know how big this is for you and I am proud of you,” Magnus said as he leaned back into his seat. “This is the first time you’ve introduced a partner to your family. It’s a big deal, it’s perfectly normal to be nervous.”

“Hopefully it’s the only time,” Alec mumbled under his breath. It may only be two months in, but he is all in for Magnus already. 

Magnus held back his gasp and pretended not to hear Alec’s words. He’d be lying if he hoped for the same thing and felt the warmth rise inside when he heard it. Magnus knew if he continued this conversation, they wouldn’t leave the car anytime soon so he opened the car door. “You can do this, angel.”

Alec got out of the car and walked around to Magnus’ side. He intertwined their hands and placed another small kiss on his boyfriend’s lips. “We can do this.” 

\---

The beginning of the party had been wonderful. Lydia swooned in true Lydia fashion over anything happy in Alec’s life. The first thing out of her mouth was ‘oh, good job, Al. He’s so hot’ causing the biggest blush Magnus had seen on his boyfriend’s face since their first date. Magnus had decided right there that he loved Lydia and was happy to know this the was the woman that his Alexander had a fake relationship in high school. He also decided that he may start calling his boyfriend ‘Al’ every once in awhile after seeing his reaction to his old nickname as well. 

As much as he loved Lydia’s reaction, nothing had prepared Magnus for Alec’s mother. Maryse not only crushed her son and himself in a huge hug after hearing Alec introduce Magnus as his boyfriend, but she cried. This beautiful, confident, seemingly-stern woman was in tears over her ‘mijo’ being happy enough in a relationship to introduce his partner. Magnus had to admit, it will always be one of his favorite moments for years to come, whether he and Alec stay together or not. 

Then Robert arrived with some blonde woman who was clearly not welcome based on the looks that took over the Lightwood children’s faces. Magnus attempted to quietly step away from Alec for a moment to ask Clary about the situation, but Alec suddenly took a tight grip on his hand. Magnus realized that this is what Alec was working himself up for, his father’s reaction. He’d be lying if he said he couldn’t see the nervous yet incredibly pissed off look on his boyfriend’s face. 

“Alexander, I-” Robert started only to be cut off by his son.

“Don’t call me that. We’ve been over this, you don’t get to call me that anymore.” Alec’s voice was firm, almost scary and Magnus was slightly shocked. He assumed this was Alec’s courtroom persona which had a reputation around the office according to Jace and Simon. 

“I am your father, I will call whatever I please, especially the name I gave you.”

“Mom gave me my name and she respects me by calling me what I want to be called. The only people allowed to call me Alexander are God, Abuela, and my boyfriend.” Alec and Robert had become the focus of the entire room at this point. Magnus was standing a few feet behind Alec at this point next to Maryse and Izzy, all three watching with pride as Alec stood up for himself. 

“Boyfriend? I’m sorry, what? Absolutely not. How will anyone respect this office if they find out that one of lawyers is...is…”

“Is what, Dad? Gay? Oh God forbid someone finds out I’m in a happy, committed relationship with a man. No client will ever want me again after they find that out. Why would anyone ever want a respected, practiced lawyer who has a flawless record and graduated summa cum laude from Yale?” Alec declared louder than he intended. Magnus holding his gaze on his boyfriend full of love and surprise as he didn’t know how incredible his boyfriend really is. Before anyone could say something in response, Alec continued. “No, please, tell me how they would pick you over me. A bigoted, opinionated lawyer with more losses than wins who only passed law school because of his intelligent ex-wife who he didn’t deserve?”

There was a low. impressed whistle from behind them which was most likely coming from Jace as Robert’s jaw dropped so low it could have tripped him. After a solid ten seconds of absolute silence, Maryse slowly stepped forward and gently placed a hand on Alec’s forearm. He turned towards her and gave her a small, apologetic smile. “Lo siento, Mama, but Magnus and I are going to leave. We will come by tomorrow, lo prometo.” 

Maryse smiled at him and kissed him on the cheek. “Está bien, mijo, I understand.” He smiled back at her and turned to Magnus without a second glance at his father. 

Magnus held out his hand for Alec to take as a sign of solidarity for his decision. Before either of them could speak, Izzy walked up and linked arms with Alec on the opposite side of Magnus. “Have you taken Magnus to Taki’s yet, big brother? Let’s go, I’m buying.” 

“I like the sound of that,” Jace responded as he grabbed Clary’s hand to walk with them towards the exit. Simon was walking out with them as Magnus was whispering in Alec’s ear about how proud he was of him. 

\---

The six of them were having a great dinner, minds completely off of Robert and his horrible parenting. They certainly hadn’t ignored what had happened though as everyone praised Alec for standing up for himself. Magnus especially complimentative about Alec’s achievements that he didn’t know about. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you were a law prodigy, Alexander.”

“Oh, stop, I’m no prodigy, I just studied a lot,” Alec replied offhandedly. The whole table scoffed at his response followed by laughs from his siblings. 

Jace spoke up but directed his words at Magnus. “Don’t listen to him, Magnus. He is a genius and is easily the best private prosecutor in the city. You wouldn’t believe how many defense attorneys turn down cases when they find out he is on the docket.”

Magnus smiled up at Alec who was blushing like crazy. “Whatever, defense is always flaky, it’s not because of me. I just go in more prepared than my opponents,” Alec fired back, he was really horrible about taking compliments. 

“Oh please, Magnus, I’m telling you, he’s terrifying in court. I know it’s hard to believe when you know him like this, but you have to see it sometime.”

“I’d love that, you should send me his calendar,” Magnus offered resulting in a bickering match between Jace and Alec with laughs coming from everyone else. Through all this conversation, Magnus hadn’t noticed his phone ring and then the voicemail pop up on the screen. 

\---

“Magnus?” Alec’s voice carried through Magnus' loft where they had stayed last night. He woke up to an empty bed which was odd considering he went to sleep with his boyfriend there. After he got no response, he got out of bed and threw on a his t-shirt that was on the floor. He walked out into the kitchen and saw the balcony doors open meaning Magnus was either doing morning yoga or he was upset. 

Alec walked through the balcony doors to see Magnus leaning against the brick, head in his hands. “Mags, baby, what’s wrong?” he asked as he came up behind his boyfriend and wrapped his arms around his waist. He pressed a kiss to his shoulder and waited for a response. 

“Alexander, I need you to know that I don’t expect you to choose me over your family or your career. I...I understand if you...we can’t be together…” Magnus’ voice was shaky and uncertain, wet with tears. 

“Magnus, what are you talking about?” Alec was shocked, after last night, how could Magnus think he was unwanted. 

Without responding, Magnus set his phone down on the balcony ledge and pressed play on a voicemail. ‘Hello Dr. Bane, this is Robert Lightwood. Yes, I figured out who you are and yes, I found your phone number. I’m going to get right to the point here. My son is on track to becoming one of the best lawyers New York City has ever seen. He is a Lightwood, a prestigious name that comes with honor. His little stunt with you is just the beginning of his downfall which will continue if you do not leave the picture. I will not let my son stupidly ruin our family name with some silly fling. I have connections, Bane, and I promise you that his being my son will not stop me. I will give you two options, end it with Alec or I will end his career.’

Magnus ducked his head again after seeing Alec’s wide eyes. “Alec, I understand if you have to walk away. Your career is so important and you are too good at what you do to give it up...for me.”

“Magnus, stop. This...I...he is so out of line. No matter what he says, I am not leaving you. He can try all he wants, but he will never be able to end my career. My mother would never allow it. And as for our relationship, Robert, well anyone for that matter, can say what they want, but I promise you, nothing is worth walking away from you,” Alec confessed as he turned Magnus around in his arms to look him in the eyes. “Magnus, I...I love you and no one can change that.” 

Magnus stared up at his boyfriend with wide, tear-filled eyes. “Alexander...I...I love you too.” He let himself fall forward into Alec’s tight embrace and felt kisses being pressed into his hair. This is all he needs, the man of his dreams to hold him and tell him everything is going to be alright.


	2. The Nightmare

“Cat, I don’t know what to do. I want to tell him, but I don’t want lose him after he finds out all the crazy that is Magnus Bane.”

“First of all, he’s stuck around for six months, he already knows that you are crazy,” Cat joked as she smirked at Magnus over her cup of coffee. 

“That’s not funny, I’m serious. I don’t...I can’t scare him away, Cat, not him. Alexander is...he’s it for me, I won’t recover,” Magnus confessed. He was thankful that they were at his loft rather than work because he can feel the tears coming on. 

Catarina’s expression softened as she realized how upset Magnus truly is. “You really like this one, don’t you?” 

“I love him, Catarina, more than I’ve ever loved anyone before and I’m terrified that I’ll become too much,” Magnus expressed as the tears actually fell this time. He swiped the few tears away with his free hand as Cat took his other one. 

“Magnus, if he is half the man that you have talked him up to be, you have nothing to worry about. From what I’ve seen of Alec so far, he loves you just as much as you love him. And you’ve seen first-hand what kind of father he has so I don’t think he will judge you for not having a wholesome background.” Cat offered him a sweet smile and placed a kiss on his hand. “You always say how he is surprising you, why would this be any different?”

\---

Izzy watched Alec pace through his kitchen while she ate the lunch he made for her. They had decided to have a brother-sister Saturday as they both didn’t have work. “Izzy, I don’t know what I did wrong. He’s barely talked to me, we haven’t seen each other. Three days, he hasn’t let us sleep in the same bed in three days. We haven’t gone that long for months besides my business trip to St. Louis.”

“Big brother, I never took you as one to get anxious over getting laid,” she joked trying to lighten his mood. 

“Iz, I’m serious. This is not about sex, although, I miss that too.”

“Ew, hermano, spare me the details.”

“Isabelle, please! I...I’m worried, I can’t lose him. He...he’s the one, Iz. I don’t think I would ever come back from losing him,” Alec confessed as he stopped in front of the counter and put his head in his hands. He had gotten better at sharing his emotions especially after he started dating Magnus, but he still tried not to cry in front of anyone so he held it in. 

Izzy reached across the counter and took one of his hands away from his face to hold it. “Alec, you are not going to lose him. You just need to talk to him. Go to his place and talk it out. I’m sure there is a really important reason as to why Magnus is acting like this. He would never intentionally hurt you and you know that.” 

Alec looked up at her and gave her a small smile. “You’re right, Iz, you’re always right. What would I do without you?” 

“You never have to find out, big brother. Now go, get your man and tell him you love him.” 

He walked around the counter and pulled Izzy into a tight hug. “ I love you, baby sister.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I love you too. I’ll put the food away and lock up, go.” Alec pressed a kiss into her hair and grabbed his keys. 

\---

Alec walked up to the door and knocked. He knew it was silly to knock because he had been letting himself in with the key Magnus gave him for months, but it felt necessary after this week. After no answer, he knocked again feeling worried that Magnus wasn’t home and this would all be for nothing. He waited for any sounds to come from inside before opening the door with his key and walking in quietly. 

“Magnus?” he called out, “Mags, you home?” Still no answer so he walked around. There was a mug on the counter and half eaten toast being picked at by Chairman. “Hey, get down from there. You know that you’re not supposed to be on the counter.” Alec said as he picked up the cat and held him to his chest. 

He walked further knowing that Magnus had to be home because he would never leave stuff on the counter like that if he was going out. Alec saw the bedroom door cracked and prayed that his boyfriend was inside. Magnus only took naps if he was sick or worked a 48 hour shift in the ER, but Alec could deal with those things. He hoped that Magnus was just sick and stubborn enough to avoid letting other people care for him. Alec’s heart broke a little though when he walked in to see Magnus covered in a shine of sweat, thrashing around in bed clearly stuck in a bad dream. 

“Mags, it’s okay,” Alec whispered as he sat beside Magnus on the bed and ran his hand through his boyfriend’s damp hair. He put Chairman down on the other side of the bed so he could wrap Magnus in his arms. 

“No...no...Mama….no…” Magnus whimpered as he tried to get away from Alec’s grip. 

Alec was sure the expression on his face was pure shock. Magnus had never talked about family before. No pictures around the loft, deferred the question anytime Alec even attempted to bring it up. “Hey, Magnus, it’s just a bad dream. Wake up.” 

Magnus’ movements slowed but he was still crying out. Alec pulled back so he could shake him slightly. He hovered over his boyfriend and placed a kiss on his forehead. “Mags, it’s Alec, wake up.”

Magnus rolled onto his side facing Alec but hiding his face in the pillow trying to reach out for something. “Alexander?” his voice was soft, broken almost. It made Alec want to cry for him. 

“Yeah, baby, I’m here,” Alec said as he ran his hand up and down Magnus’ back. “Just breathe.”

Magnus was shaking and had tears running down his face. Alec swiped away the tears with his thumb and waited for Magnus to speak. “I’m sorry…”

“For what, having a nightmare? Mags, you can’t control that. It’s okay.”

“No, for this week...for how I’ve been acting.”

“Hey, don’t worry about that right now. Just relax.”

“No, Alexander, I have to tell you something. I...I, uh, I’ve been avoiding you this week because of this. Because of the nightmares.”

Alec’s face curled up in confusion. “Magnus, what are you talking about?”

Magnus took a deep breath and moved to sit up. Alec helped him up against the headboard and moved closer to take Magnus’ hand in his own. The thoughtfullness of the action made Magnus’ heart swell up. How could he think that Alec would run away?

“This week, well today actually, is the anniversary of...of my parents death,” Magnus confessed with a shaky voice. He felt Alec squeeze his hand tighter as sign of support. “My father was abusive, he never hit me, but my m-m-mother…”

Alec leaned forward and kissed his temple. “It’s okay, baby, take your time.” 

“He hurt her for so long and she had finally had enough. When I was six, my mom put me in my room and waited for my father to come home. She shot him when he walked in the house. She called the cops and then shot h-herself…” Tears fell down Magnus’ face again. Alec just wiped the tears away and waited for him to continue. “I was put in foster care and aged out at 18. I was never adopted, but I met people along the way that became family like Raphael and Ragnor and Catarina that have helped but, it...uh...this happens every year. The week of the anniversary is always bad. The nightmares...they happen every time so I figured it was best for us to sleep apart. I didn’t want to….to s-scare you a-away…”

Alec looked at him with nothing but love. “Magnus, you couldn’t scare me away if you tried. I’m here, I’m not going anywhere. You are incredible for being the person you are after all that. I am so proud of you and I love you, no matter what happened 20 years ago or 20 minutes ago. Tú eres mi corazón, siempre.” 

Magnus felt the tears fall again, but this time from being overcome with love. He should have never doubted his boyfriend, but he doesn’t want Alec to do this out of pity. “Alexander, you don’t have to-”

“No, Magnus, I need you to know that I will always be here for you. You could have nightmares every night and I would never want to sleep apart. I, of course, will give you space when you need it, but never believe that I don’t want to be here or that you are burden. You will never be a burden to me.” Alec leaned in and gave Magnus the most gentle, loving kiss he had ever felt.

“I love you, Alexander, so much.” 

“I love you too. Now do you need anything, anything at all?” Alec asked in the most genuine, caring tone he could muster. 

Magnus gazed back still in awe of his boyfriend. He suddenly felt ten times better but still incredibly sensitive to everything around him. “Will you just hold me, please?”

Alec stood up off the bed and walked around to the other side. He kicked off his shoes and climbed in under the covers. He pulled Magnus down from his sitting position and laid back on his back letting Magnus’ head fall against his chest. Alec held Magnus tight and kissed the top of his head. “Always, baby.”


	3. The Drunk Stranger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: depictions of assault are in this chapter so please be careful when reading

“Alexander, please come with us. It’s your sister’s birthday and I need someone to defend my honor,” Magnus all but begged as he sat on Alec’s lap. He had his arms around Alec’s neck, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck while he gave him the best puppy dog eyes he could muster up. 

“Defend your honor? Magnus, you are going to a nightclub, not into battle,” Alec cut back as he rolled his eyes but moved his hands gently up and down Magnus’ sides. He knew he wasn’t get out of this, but he could at least try to act like he could win. 

Magnus leaned in and teasingly placed small kisses along Alec’s jawline. “But darling, what if all the men come fawning? I need my big, strong man to protect me.”

Alec’s face hardened at the thought of people hitting on Magnus all night while he wasn’t there. His grip tightened on the other man’s sides as he pulled him a little closer to his chest. “Well, if you put it that way...”

“Alexander Lightwood, are you jealous?” Magnus mocked with a hand over his heart. 

Alec rolled his eyes again, but deep down, he knew was jealous of anyone else even having eyes for his boyfriend. “No...like you said, I need to defend your honor so I will.” 

Magnus’ face lit up at Alec’s agreement to come along. He pulled Alec in for a chaste kiss and left his forehead resting against his boyfriend’s when it ended. “My knight in a well-tailored suit.”

\---

“Lyds, I need your help,” Alec announced as he walked into his best friend’s office. He went directly over to her desk and perched himself on the edge of it. 

“Well, hey there, Al. Nice to see you too, thanks for knocking,” Lydia joked with a smirk on her face. 

Alec scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest. “Oh please, like you ever do anything important enough for me to interrupt.”

“Why are you my best friend again?” 

“Because you were the best fake girlfriend a guy could ask for, Lyds.”

Lydia burst out laughing. “I’m honored. Now, what is so urgent that you almost kicked my door down?”

Alec rolled his eyes at her as he ran a hand through his hair. “This weekend is Izzy’s birthday party at Pandemonium and somehow, my wonderful boyfriend has convinced me to go and I haven’t got the slightest idea what to wear.”

“The great Alec Lightwood is going clubbing. I didn’t think I’d live to see the day,” Lydia replied with a wide grin. 

“Ha ha, Lyds, seriously, I need help. I want to impress Magnus, I don’t want him to think he is dating a shut in.”

“Al, you are literally an old man in a 27 year old’s body. I think he already knows.” Lydia smirked again but cut Alec off as he was about to fight her on it. “But, I will help. I mean, Magnus and Izzy are obvious the better choices for fashion advice, but I’ll do what I can. Anything is better than your same suits or sweaters.”

Alec went around the desk and kissed her on top of her head. “Ugh, you’re the best, Lyds. I owe you one, big time.” 

Lydia waved him off nonchalantly. “Oh, you definitely do so get out of my office and think of ways to proclaim your love for me.” Alec rolled his eyes again as he walked out. 

\---

Magnus and Izzy were back at a VIP booth with Jace and Clary. Simon had gone to get them drinks with Raphael. “I thought you convinced Alec to come,” Clary said, breaking the comfortable silence. 

“I did, but he said that he something to finish at work with Lydia before he could come. He told me he would meet us here when he was done,” Magnus answered, glancing at the door a few times. 

“I swear, if my big brother shows up in his suit from work, I will punch him,” Izzy declared with semi-serious smirk on her face. 

Magnus nodded in agreement. “Not if I beat you to it, Isabelle.” The whole group laughed as Simon and Raphael had come back with a tray of drinks, catching the end of the conversation. After a few seconds, Simon looked up and his jaw dropped. 

“Uh, guys, I don’t think you have to worry about punching him,” he said softly as all their heads turned toward Alec who was giving his name to the bouncer with a VIP clipboard. He was wearing tight, dark blue, slim-fit dress pants rolled slightly to reveal his ankles, a deep burgundy shirt with a small, floral pattern on it and the top three buttons undone with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and tan, leather Oxfords on his feet. He also had on a pair of burgundy glasses instead of his contacts and his hair was in a messily styled bedhead-looking quiff. 

“Holy shit, my boyfriend is so fucking hot,” Magnus whispered. Izzy swatted him on the arm, scolding him for his language causing the entire group to bust out laughing.

Alec sauntered over and stood beside the table. “What’s so funny?” he asked to which no one replied. He turned his focus to his boyfriend whose jaw was still on the floor. Alec hooked a finger under Magnus’ chin and closed his mouth as he turned his focus to his sister. “Feliz Cumpleaños, hermana,” he said lovingly and blew her a kiss. 

“Gracias, big brother. I am so happy you came, it means a lot,” Izzy admitted as she reached over Magnus to hold Alec’s hand. They shared a smile as Magnus moved to get up. 

“Mags, where are you going?” Alec asked as he turned back towards his boyfriend taking his hand. 

Magnus leaned down so he could whisper in Alec’s ear making sure no one else heard his words. “If I don’t walk away from this table to get you a drink, I don’t think I will be able to keep my hands to myself and I’d rather not scar your sister on her birthday.” 

Alec threw his head back laughing as his family watched curiously at the interaction. He let Magnus get up and winked at him before turning back to his family. Magnus took a minute to collect himself as he walked to the bar while also trying to figure out how to get Alec to dress up more often. 

\---

“What is a pretty man like yourself doing here alone?” A deep voice from beside Magnus asked as a hand ran across his shoulders.

Magnus felt his entire body tense as the bartender came back and set one drink down. He internally cursed himself for only ordering one making it look like he was alone. “I’m not here alo-”

“You don’t have to lie to me, beautiful. Why don’t you come dance with me?” the man replied as he ran his hand down Magnus’ back to rest on his lower back. The man was a few inches shorter than him but broader and imposing. He didn’t seem like the kind of guy to take no for an answer. 

“No, sorry, I only dance with my boyfriend,” Magnus offered as he tried to stand up straighter and move away. He felt the man’s hand move to his forearm and grip tightly, pulling Magnus back beside the bar. He knew he could protect himself, but he would prefer not to have to fight his way out of a situation like this. “Please, leave me alone.”

“I don’t think so, you’re coming with me,” the man’s voice was much harder now, angry and determined. The man pulled Magnus towards him roughly so Magnus was held against. 

Magnus tried to push him away, but the man’s grip tightened on the pressure points of his elbows causing his muscles to go weak. At this point, he couldn’t get the man away from him and he knew which terrified him. “Stop, let me go!” He tried to push again when the man was torn away from him and shoved against the bar. 

“I think he asked you to stop,” Alec’s deep voice boomed out. Alec towered over the man as he put his hands on either side of him, bracketing him against the bartop. Magnus had never heard Alec that angry before, but he had heard stories from Isabelle of how protective he could really be. 

“And why do you care? If he didn’t want to be hit on, he wouldn’t dress like such a slut. Look at him, he’s covered in glitter and his whole chest is out. He’s asking for it,” the man cut back, trying to sound confident as he cowered into the counter from Alec’s imposing height and glare. 

Alec scoffed and pressed a hand to the guy’s chest. “My boyfriend dresses however he likes because he can. He could be wearing nothing but his boxers and that still wouldn’t give you the right to assault him, asshole.” 

The man scoffed and spit in Alec’s face. Magnus gasped as Alec threw the guy on the floor. “You can do whatever you want to me, but don’t even look at him,” he said as he pointed to Magnus. “You’re lucky I don’t kick your ass right here, and don’t try anything funny because I’m a lawyer so no matter what you do, you’ll still end up in the hospital and then jail.”

“You’re all talk, bitch. I could take you down, lawyer or not.”

Alec pressed him back onto the floor as he tried to sit up with his foot. He held him down and glared at him. “Go ahead and try, I dare you.”

The man glared back until he gave into Alec’s clearly more threatening gaze and size. He scrambled up and walked away fast without another word. Alec quickly turned around on his heel, his face suddenly morphing from anger into concern and love. He pulled Magnus into his arms and pressed a kiss into his temple. “You okay, baby?”

Magnus had to admit, as impressed and proud he was by Alec’s behavior and protection, he was still pretty shaken. He hadn’t ever been assaulted like that before and now he truly knew how scary it was for all those people he had treated in the ER. “Alexander…”

“Hey, you’re safe, I’ve got you,” Alec whispered into his hair and he squeezed him into his chest tighter. “Mags, let’s go home, okay?” 

Magnus just nodded into Alec’s shoulder and let him take Magnus’ hand to walk him back to the booth. He heard Izzy and Clary ask if he was okay and Raphael moved to hug him causing him to flinch and then apologize. He distantly heard Alec explaining that they were going to leave and everyone agreeing while he leaned into his boyfriend’s side not looking anyone in the eye. 

\---

The cab ride back to his loft passed by without him even noticing. He could tell that Alec was worried about him, but he couldn’t shake himself from his thoughts. Alec led them inside and he took Magnus straight to the bedroom so they both could change. He felt himself getting into bed, still without focusing on anything in particular. 

“Mags, do you want to take a bath or something to eat? Maybe some tea?” Alec asked as he pulled his t-shirt over his head. He went to walk out of the room to make the tea he mentioned when Magnus called out for him. 

“Alexander, don’t leave,” Magnus whispered as he finally made eye contact with his boyfriend. 

Alec quickly walked back to the bed and sat down beside him. “I’m right here, Magnus, it’s okay. Are you sure you don’t want anything?” he asked as he leaned down to kiss Magnus’ forehead. 

“Lay with me and don’t leave.”

“Of course, baby, I’m not going anywhere,” Alec replied as he laid down on his side and pulled Magnus until his boyfriend’s back was firmly against his chest. He wrapped his arms around Magnus’ waist and pressed feather-light kisses into his shoulder. “I love you.”

Magnus put both his hands over Alec’s on his stomach and squeezed softly as a sign of appreciation. He rested his head back so fit between the pillow and Alec’s neck. He finally felt completely safe again. “I love you too, Alexander.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't realize when I originally outlined this fic for it to get so heavy so I apologize for how emotional this one is, I hope you still enjoy it. I am trying my best to incorporate my typical comical relief and fluff, but this idea is hard to create without the angsty build-ups.


	4. The Children Lost

Max’s cries cut through their bedroom over the baby monitor. Magnus rolled over and groaned as he saw 2:37 in blue light on his nightstand. The cries grew louder and he held out for a few seconds to see if Alec would move to get up. Magnus knew it was his turn, but he had to work tomorrow and just couldn’t bring himself to get out of bed. 

“Alexander,” he whispered out as he nudged his husband with his elbow. Alec mumbled something, but his face was smushed into his pillow so Magnus couldn’t make out what he said. “Max is probably hungry, it’s your turn.” 

Alec moaned in disagreement as Max’s cries came back through the monitor again. He pushed himself up onto his elbows and turned his face towards Magnus. “You’re lucky I love you, you liar,” Alec whispered before placing a soft kiss on the other man’s forehead. 

Magnus let out a soft, breathy chuckle as he felt the bed shift from Alec getting up. He heard the footsteps on the floor lead out of the room until he heard his husband’s voice coming the monitor. “Shhh, pequeño, it’s okay, Daddy’s here.” Magnus smiled as he drifted off asleep again listening to Max’s whimpers and Alec’s soothing voice. 

\---

Magnus startled awake as a hand ran up and down his back. He smelled coffee from beside him and heard quiet gurgling noises. He hummed and leaned into the touch when he realized it was Alec and Max waking him up. “I don’t understand how you are awake right now, Alexander,” Magnus said into his pillow. It was 6:45 in the morning and Alec had taken care of Max three times during the night by himself to let Magnus sleep. 

“The prospect of coffee and this little man are more than enough to get me out of bed. Now I need you to get out of bed so I can shower before you leave. Max went on my run with me and has already had breakfast so he shouldn’t fuss while you get ready,” Alec said as he stood up and placed Max down on his play mat. 

Magnus rolled onto his back, folded his hands over his stomach, and shut his eyes while he whispered something quietly. Alec looked at him confused as he took his shirt off. “Mags, what are you doing?” he asked with a laugh. 

“I’m thanking God for letting me fall in love with a morning person. Now let me finish praying, Alexander, it’s rude to interrupt,” Magnus replied with one eye cracked open at his husband. 

Alec threw his head back laughing as he looked down at their son. “Max, Papa está loco,” Alec joked with a smile making the baby giggle. 

Magnus scoffed at Alec’s words before giving a reply directed to Max of his own. “Blueberry, Daddy itu jahat,” he said while giggling at the interaction.

Alec was slightly caught off guard at Magnus speaking Indonesian. It happens very rarely, generally only when Magnus is really excited or ranting. He decided to suggest something hoping it didn’t upset Magnus. “Hey Mags, maybe we should teach Max some Indonesian as he learns to talk. He hears me and the family speak Spanish all the time, he should get part of you too.” 

Magnus just walked straight into Alec’s chest and snuggled into him. “Ugh, I really do love you.” 

Alec chuckled and kissed him on the forehead. “I love you too, baby. Now get ready for work, I don’t want to get yelled at by Cat for making you late….again…” They both laughed as they split apart to get ready for the day. 

\---

“Three incoming! Accident on Canal, mother and two children, all critical!” Catarina’s voice carried through the ER. Magnus rushed out from behind one the curtains where he was dealing with a minor burn leaving a tech to deal with it. 

“Set up Bay 1 with pediatric equipment, I’ll take the kids in there. The mother will go to Bay 2. Call Tessa and Isabelle, we are going to need as many hands as possible!” Magnus ordered as he ran to the front entrance. He helped usher in the patients and immediately went to work on one of the children, but he had to pause and steady himself as the youngest was around Max’s age. Magnus’ brain went into overdrive and panic, this was the first time he had a critical patient this young since adopting Max. 

Catarina came up beside him as she was putting pressure on one of the boy’s wounds. “Magnus, it’s okay. Max is home safe with Alec, you can go home to them both after this,” Cat whispered to him. 

His mind snapped back into the moment and he started working. The mother and daughter had already taken up to surgery after initial assessment. Magnus knew that it wouldn’t be the case for this little boy. His injuries were too severe and his brain had gone way too long with oxygen. He tried all last ditch efforts he could think and after asking for suggestions from staff, he called time of death and felt his heart break at the same time. 

Isabelle and Catarina both followed him out of the trauma bay straight into the doctor’s lounge. They watched Magnus wash his hands without saying anything, his expression blank. He gripped the side of the sink tightly, his knuckles slowly turning white as his head hung. “Mags, go home. You only have an hour left anyway. Shower and change, then go home,” Izzy said as she coerced his fingers from the sink to hold his hands. He just nodded and walked into the showers. 

Both women shared a worried look as he left the room. “Can you call your brother and tell him what’s going on? I’ll make sure he comes back out and actually goes home,” Cat said to Izzy who nodded and pulled her phone out of her pocket. 

\---

Magnus let his legs carry him up the stairs to their loft. He felt as if he had no control over his body or emotions right now, just numbness. As he fumbled in his bag for his house key, the door opened up in front of him. Magnus looked up to see his husband wearing a soft smile holding their tired little boy in his arms. Alec pulled Magnus into the loft, helped him maneuver his bag and coat off, and placed Max in his arms. 

Max clung to Magnus, wrapping his tiny arms around his shoulders and resting his head down into his neck. Magnus held his son close to him while swaying back and forth with his eyes closed. He didn’t know how much time had passed, but he did not move from that spot. He hadn’t spoken a word since he called time of death and his expression hadn’t changed. No tears, no words, nothing yet. 

Magnus was shaken from this peaceful moment as Max was lifted from his arms. He let out a little whimper, the first sound he had made so far. He watched Alec place their sleeping baby into his swing and cover him with a blanket. Alec turned back around and walked back to his husband who seemed to be stuck to the ground. Magnus felt Alec’s strong arms wrap around him and the dam broke. 

Alec held Magnus as tight as he could as his husband cried into his shoulder. The sobs wracked Magnus’ body as he finally let himself feel everything. Alec kissed his temple and just let him cry. 

“...A-Alexander…” Magnus’ voice was muffled by Alec’s shirt which he had clenched tightly in his hands, afraid to lose the touch. 

“It’s alright, baby, I got you,” Alec whispered back as he tightened his hold as much as he physically could. He just let them stay like that until Magnus pulled away. Alec kept his arms around his husband as Magnus leaned back to look him in the eyes. He leaned in and gave him a small kiss on the forehead. 

The rest of the night was quiet, reserved in their own little family bubble. They put on movies and cuddled up on the couch. Magnus’ head rested in Alec’s lap while Max was laid on Magnus’ chest, both of them asleep. Alec looked at the clock on the wall and saw that it was 10:30. He knew that he would have a killer backache in the morning, but he didn’t even think about moving. He just snuggled into the couch deeper and held his two guys close while he drifted off to sleep with them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A hallmark part of this series is Latino Lightwoods, something that I support and love to write. I've decided that Magnus deserves some of himself too, however, all I have for that is Google Translate. Spanish is no issue for me, but if any of the Indonesian is incorrect, I deeply apologize. 
> 
> Daddy itu jahat = Daddy is being mean (hopefully lol)


	5. The Fight

“I don’t understand why this is such a big deal! I’ve gone on business trips before and you’ve never acted like this!” Alec looked at Magnus with a confused glare from behind the kitchen counter. 

They had been fighting about this upcoming trip since Alec mentioned it last week and Alec was beyond tired of being at odds with his husband. They are known as the good couple, the couple everyone looks to because this doesn’t happen. Alec and Magnus don’t fight, they argue, but they never fight like this. 

“I know you have, but you are not seeing the whole picture here. That day is always hard for you and I don’t want you to be halfway across the country while dealing with it, Alexander!” Magnus cut back as he ran a frustrated hand through his hair. 

Alec huffed an angry sigh and slammed his coffee cup down. “Enough! Okay, enough, I am so tired of everyone acting like I am made of glass that will shatter if someone says his name. Yes, Valentine Morgenstern shot me, I am well aware, I have the scar to prove it. But believe it or not, I can handle my own emotions and don’t need a babysitter to come hold my hand every time he is brought up. The whole family treats me like I’m about to crack if I even think of him.”

“Alexan-”

“No, Magnus, I’m serious. I’m not broken. I am...I just...ugh” Alec rambled out as he massaged his furrowed brow. He strided out of the kitchen and into their bedroom. Magnus stayed stuck in his chair trying to process Alec’s words without giving in to the tears threatening his waterline. 

Alec returned and walked right through the kitchen without a word, now wearing workout clothes and sitting down on the entryway bench to lace his running shoes. Magnus looked at him with worried eyes and felt the air leave his lungs when Alec spoke again. “I can’t be here right now.”

Magnus watched his husband leave and slam the door behind him. He felt a single tear run down his face as he went to curl up in their bed. 

\---

Alec jogged to a stop in front of his mother’s door. During his run, he was thinking about someone he could talk to about the whole thing that wouldn’t be so wrapped up in his emotions. He knocked and prayed the person he wanted would answer. 

“Alec? I didn’t know you were coming over to get Max already. Your mom just took him out to lunch with Isabelle.”

“I’m actually here to see you, Luke. I need to talk.”

Luke kept a straight face even though he was surprised. “Of course, Alec, come in.” Both men walked to the kitchen and sat down at the table. Luke got Alec a bottle of water and a cup of coffee which he gratefully accepted before diving into the reason he was there. Alec and Luke laid everything out and Alec felt like his was getting his true feelings out. 

“I think what you are feeling is warranted, Alec, but Magnus loves you. He can’t help but care and worry about you. Also, this whole thing is just as hard for him. He had to watch it happen and then take care of you. You obviously couldn’t see it, but he was devastated, Alec. He cried more than Isabelle and Maryse put together. The five hours you spent in surgery were heartbreaking to watch,” Luke said and offered Alec a sad smile. 

Alec gave him a surprised look and stood up. “Thank you, Luke. I...I really needed this.”

Luke patted him on the shoulder and walked him to the door. “It’s no problem, Alec. I’m always here if you need me. Now go home and talk to your husband.” Alec gave him an appreciative smile and headed out to continue his run home. 

\---

“Cat, what if he doesn’t come back? It’s been three hours, his runs are never this long. Oh my God, what if he’s hurt? What if he got mugged? His head has been bothering him, what if he passed out? Oh my-” 

“Magnus, I love you, but shut up,” Cat cut him off with a stern voice. 

“Catarina.”

“No, Magnus, don’t you Catarina me. You know that you are being ridiculous. We both know that Alec can handle himself just fine, he’s proven it time and time again. As for him being hurt, you would have been called the minute he turned up in any emergency room. And you know he would end up getting help because a giant, handsome man running in the street passing out does not go unnoticed. He just needed some time to cool off, probably because he didn’t want to hurt you which in its own way is really sweet. So shut up,” Cat ranted through the phone. 

Magnus was quiet for a moment processing her words before he responded. “You think my husband is handsome?” He heard his friend’s laugh bubble on the other end. 

“I’m not blind, Magnus. The Lightwoods have one blessed genepool. So blessed that not only are they easy on the eyes, but they are kind-hearted and loving and forgiving.”

Magnus took a deep breath, refreshed by her words but still on edge. “Cat, I just worry-” 

“Magnus Lightwood-Bane, enough. Now, go clean yourself up and get out of bed. I’m sure Alec will be home soon.” They exchanged goodbyes and he headed for their bathroom. 

\---

Magnus pulled one of Alec’s sweaters over his head and walked out into the kitchen to make a cup of tea. He was feeling much better but still a little down that Alec hadn’t returned yet. Just as he considered getting his phone out to call him, the front door clicked and he felt his whole body relax. “Alexander?” 

Alec went into the kitchen and felt his heart melt as he saw his husband, fresh-faced and in his favorite sweater. He walked right up to Magnus and kissed his forehead. “I’m so sorry, baby.” 

“Alexander, you don’t have to-”

“Yes, I do, Magnus. This whole time I’ve only been thinking about myself. I didn’t stop and think about how this has affected you. You had to watch it happen and then you weren’t able to do anything at the hospital. I know you put on a brave face for my family, but I can’t imagine how hard it was. I can’t even bear to see you sick and yet you had to see me take a bullet. I should’ve realized that and thought about you too, so I’m sorry, Magnus.” Alec tried to even his breathing so he didn’t cry. He wanted to be strong for Magnus and let him feel supported. 

Magnus had tears streaming down his face and felt Alec swiping them away with his thumbs. He ducked himself into Alec’s chest and felt himself wrapped in a tight embrace. “I love you so much,” came from him in a muffled whisper. 

“I love you too,” Alec said into his temple with another kiss before pulling back slightly. “Now, go make your tea and order some Chinese. I’m going to shower and then we can have the night to ourselves. Mom is going to keep Max tonight and you and I are going to talk about that day.” Alec pulled him for another lingering hug before giving him a kiss on the lips and heading for their bedroom. 

Magnus just smiled as he watched Alec go as he felt a warmth carry over him like he was still held tight in his husband’s arms. He pulled his phone out and made a call. 

“Magnus?”

“Thank you, Catarina.”

“Of course, dear. Tell Alec I said hi.”

“I will, darling, I will.”


	6. The Emotional Father

“Daddy! Daddy!” Max called as he ran into Alec’s office, straight into his father’s legs. 

Alec let out a small grunt at the sudden impact, but he kept his eyes focused on his work. He had his newest case laid out in front of him and it was important for everything to go right. This case was all over the media as he was up against Camille Belcourt, the nastiest defense attorney in the city. She and Alec were equally well-known, however, Alec for being a clean-cut silent force while Camille is one drama after another. 

“Max, Daddy is busy right now. Where is Papa?” Alec asked with a little too much bite behind it than necessary. 

“Papa and Rafie make dinner. I don’t wanna make dinner, I wanna see Daddy,” Max pouted as he clung to Alec’s leg. 

Alec leaned over and placed a kiss on top of Max’s head. “I’m sorry, little man, Daddy has a lot to do. I’ll be out for dinner, okay?” Max just nodded slowly with his lip out hoping to sway his father, but Alec didn’t look back down as he returned to his paperwork. Max sulked back into the kitchen and attached himself to Magnus while he stood at the stove. 

\---

“Alexander? Are you okay?”

Alec’s head snapped up from where it was cradled in his hands. He wasn’t as far as he wanted to be with this case and he knew it was going to be a rough two weeks. He sent Magnus an apologetic smile. “I’m fine, baby, just a little stressed. Is it time for dinner?” 

Magnus let out a small laugh as he walked around the back of Alec’s chair to massage his shoulders. “Darling, you missed dinner by a few hours. I sent Max to come get you, but he said you were busy. I had Rafael try to bring you a plate an hour ago, but I don’t think you heard him. I was coming to get you to go to bed.”

Alec shot out of his chair and gave Magnus a kiss. “I’m sorry, Magnus. I just...this case-”

“I know, angel. We’ve been at this for 5 years, I’m not upset. I won’t lie and say that I’m not worried about your health, but I’m never upset. Just please take some more breaks with this one. I haven’t seen you like this in awhile and I don’t want you skipping meals or losing sleep over it. Promise me you will take care of yourself before I have to force you to.” Magnus took Alec’s hand and dragged him out of their shared study to their bedroom. 

“I promise, Mags.” Alec gave Magnus a kiss and went to get in the shower.

\---

Max stomped into the living room with his arms crossed over his chest. Magnus and Izzy were talking while Rafael and Eve played on the floor. “What’s wrong, Blueberry?” 

“Daddy work too much,” Max huffed as he threw himself into a pouting heap on the couch. His head found Magnus’ lap and he reached out to cuddle his father’s thigh. 

Izzy and Magnus shared a knowing glance. “Daddy is a busy man, Max. He has a very important job and it takes a lot of time to do it the way he likes to do it,” Magnus explained as he ran a soothing hand through Max’s hair. 

“I don’t like Daddy work. Daddy no fun,” Max complained as tears started to form in his eyes. Magnus pulled him up into his arms to hug him. Izzy and Magnus both tried to console him as he whimpered into his father’s shoulder. “I don’t like Daddy anymore.” 

Before anyone could say anything else, a gasp was heard from the walkway of the living room. Alec’s face was drained of all color and his eyes watered with sadness. He turned his back to the room and walked away. 

“Alexander.” “Hermano.” Magnus and Izzy called out, but he waved them off without turning around. They heard the master bedroom door click. 

Izzy took Max from Magnus’ arms and whispered for him to go to Alec. He nodded and pressed a kiss to her cheek appreciatively. 

Magnus walked up to the door and knocked before opening it to see his husband curled up in bed with his shoulders shaking as he cried. “Alexander.”

“No...M-Magnus...this is my f-fault. I ignored him and now he hates me...I’m a terrible father…” Alec sobbed into the pillows on the bed. His small whines were breaking Magnus’ heart. 

Magnus walked over and sat beside Alec, running a hand up and down his back. “Darling, you are many things, but a terrible father is not one of them. You are the best parent I have ever seen. You know when the boys are upset or sick or mad before they even do. Bedtime is a disaster without you, the nights when you work late are painful because you have that magic voice. Max just misses you, angel, we all do when you have to work more. All you need to do is hold him and sing to him and he will be wrapped around your finger like always. He loves you, Alexander, we all do.” 

Alec’s cries had stopped and he pulled his hands away from his face after wiping his tears. He reached out for Magnus’ hand who moved closer and took Alec in his arms. “Thank you.” 

“Nothing to thank me for, angel. I’m always happy to tell you how wonderful you are,” Magnus replied as he leaned up to kiss Alec’s forehead. “Now, come on. Someone needs a hug from his Daddy.” 

Alec let Magnus pull him out of bed and walk back out into the living room. Izzy gave her brother a sad smile as he leaned down and took Max from her. Max had fallen into a light sleep and was woken at the movement. His little hands clung to Alec’s shoulders and his face went to his father’s neck. “Daddy?” 

“I got you, baby. I’m so sorry that I made you sad, can you forgive me?” Alec asked quietly. 

Max moved his arms so they tightened around Alec’s neck as if he was afraid his father would disappear. “Yeah, I miss you, Daddy.” 

“I miss you too, I promise I won’t work at home as much, okay? More Max and Rafe time,” Alec replied with a kiss to Max’s head. 

“Kay, you the best Daddy ever,” Max whispered as he was falling back asleep from the swaying and comfort of Alec’s hold. “Te amo, Daddy.” 

Fresh tears fell from Alec’s eyes. He had been working on Spanish with Max for awhile, but he wouldn’t use it without Alec prompting him. He felt Magnus’ arms wrap around him from behind to hold him. “Te amo, baby.”


End file.
